2019 planner with paint swatches

The Anxiety & Depression Symptom People Don’t Talk About

I was looking at my LinkedIn profile one day when I saw a portion of my experience that threw me off guard. On my profile was the role of “Student Blogger” from October 2012 to June 2013 while I was in college. I wracked my brain for any sort of memory of blogging while I was in school, but nothing came up. Was this something that I added to my profile just to spruce things up?

To get to the bottom of this, I decided to call my best friend who went to school with me. She confirmed that, yes, I was a student blogger for a portion of our sophomore year and I used to write about what prospective Interior Design students could expect from the curriculum and workload. And I didn’t remember any of it. It wasn’t that I couldn’t remember what topics I wrote about specifically, but I didn’t even remember applying to be a student blogger, writing any posts, seeing my posts online, or continuing to be a blogger for nine whole months. What happened?

It was scary. How could I not remember something I had done for almost a year? And then I remembered what else was going on in my life at this time. October through December 2012 were what I would describe as the three worst months of my life. My anxiety and depression were at an all-time high, and somehow my brain totally blocked out my time as a student blogger. It was then that I learned memory can be affected due to anxiety and depression. Thanks, brain.

Why isn’t this something that is talked about more? Before this happened to me, I had no idea that this was even possible. I knew the popular symptoms of both anxiety and depression (the rapid heart rates, trembling, anxiety attacks, loss of interest, feeling of numbness, etc), but memory loss was new to me.

While this isn’t the only instance of a time in college that I can’t remember (and no, not due to drinking), this is probably the most extreme case.

Have you ever suffered a lapse in memory due to mental illness?

  1. Suffering depression is one of my darkness moments last 3 years ago. It’s hard to deal with your own self and you don’t know what’s the best for you I’am glad that my blog help me to express my feelings by writing my emotion until now I cope my mental sickness.

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  2. You know, people till date say whenever u say depressed or having anxierty is that we have gone mad. Hardly anyone understands, so I have distanced myself. Moreover people expect a counselor to be strong. lol.

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  3. We remember things better when we are emotionally connected to it. Maybe you were not that passionate about what you did back then and more important things took place in your brain. We all have some period of our life that we struggle to remember. One thing that I do, which helps me remember is to look at pictures.

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  4. This is something I’ve experienced before and when I’m in crisis I often experience brain zaps that affect my short term processing. It’s quite scary but I know that it’s my brain trying to protect me from the emotional difficulties I’m facing.

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  5. I did not know that depression and anxiety can do that. I do have depression and I think I have similar experiences to what you went through, although I just dismissed it as being old. Thanks for letting me know about this. It is something I can raise with my psychiatrist when I go in for an appointment after this pandemic is over.

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  6. It would make sense that your brain turns off during times of struggle, pain, or depression as a self defense mechanism. In fact, it is well documented and discussed often how women rarely remember the actual pain of child birth. They say that it is a way for the body to not only protect the mind from that pain but to also as part of an evolutionary tactic to allow women to want to continue to have children. I guess if you actually remembered the pain, child birth would be avoided.

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