I was looking at my LinkedIn profile one day when I saw a portion of my experience that threw me off guard. On my profile was the role of “Student Blogger” from October 2012 to June 2013 while I was in college. I wracked my brain for any sort of memory of blogging while I was in school, but nothing came up. Was this something that I added to my profile just to spruce things up?
To get to the bottom of this, I decided to call my best friend who went to school with me. She confirmed that, yes, I was a student blogger for a portion of our sophomore year and I used to write about what prospective Interior Design students could expect from the curriculum and workload. And I didn’t remember any of it. It wasn’t that I couldn’t remember what topics I wrote about specifically, but I didn’t even remember applying to be a student blogger, writing any posts, seeing my posts online, or continuing to be a blogger for nine whole months. What happened?
It was scary. How could I not remember something I had done for almost a year? And then I remembered what else was going on in my life at this time. October through December 2012 were what I would describe as the three worst months of my life. My anxiety and depression were at an all-time high, and somehow my brain totally blocked out my time as a student blogger. It was then that I learned memory can be affected due to anxiety and depression. Thanks, brain.
Why isn’t this something that is talked about more? Before this happened to me, I had no idea that this was even possible. I knew the popular symptoms of both anxiety and depression (the rapid heart rates, trembling, anxiety attacks, loss of interest, feeling of numbness, etc), but memory loss was new to me.
While this isn’t the only instance of a time in college that I can’t remember (and no, not due to drinking), this is probably the most extreme case.
Have you ever suffered a lapse in memory due to mental illness?